Soul Ties

I learned a lot about soul ties this year. When people speak on soul ties, they usually focus on the sexual standpoint of them, but the subject goes so much farther than that. There are specific family members, friends, and people I haven't dealt with in years that I truly believe my soul is forever intertwined with.


Let's dig deep.


When I first started learning about soul ties, I read a lot about how our souls connect with every single person we have sexual intercourse with. And it rarely spoke on if it was a positive thing, but there were very strong opinions on the negative ones. Google will tell you that you are carrying the demons of every single person you have ever had intercourse with & I don't believe that's true - at all. A soul tie and a learned behavior are not the same. How can someone gain a negative trait from a one night stand? Now, if we apply that same logic with someone we were involved in a long-term relationship with, it makes total sense. Yet I don't think it's based on sexual intercourse, it's based on interaction. If my partner is someone who constantly has a nasty attitude and a pessimistic outlook, those traits might begin to rub off on me over time. Therefore when I communicate with them, and sometimes others - I might have a bad attitude, or offer a negative outlook - I've learned this as a way of communication while dealing with my partner. With us being intimate (intimacy is about emotions, passion is about sex), my natural response is going to be to form some type of attachment to them. Learned behavior is a usual one!


Let's apply this to family, then we'll touch on friendships. I have a ton of siblings, I love them all the same, I have an individual bond with each one - but when I think of soul ties, there are two that stick out. My brother Ari, he was my first little brother. He is the sibling I share the most memories with, good and bad. And he was the first person I ever felt it was my job to protect. And then there is my brother Chris, one of the only people that I feel like cares about me the way I care for others. And with them, I feel myself understood beyond an explanation I could ever give. They understand parts of me without exchanging words. They have a part of my soul and I have a part of theirs.


I wish more people spoke on soul ties with friendships! There are three main people in my life that come to mind: Marissa, Daria, and Maurche - in that exact order. And even though I don't talk to Marissa and I barely talk to Daria, they are still two women that I truly believe might understand me more than everyone in this world. Marissa was my middle school best friend. She experienced me at my emotional low, and got to know the best and worst of me without judgment. She was someone I truly considered my safe place, and one of the only people that I never got tired of being around. We learned a lot from each other. She taught me that there is no such thing as expecting too much from people, you will meet that person that expects the same love, friendship, etc while giving you the same reassurance. Daria brought the fun out of me. I didn't realize how goofy and carefree I was until I became her friend. She was always there when I called, we were together every weekend, and there was no one that could come between us. And even when we formed separate friend groups, we were each other's priority and nothing could have changed that dynamic. Maurche, my current best friend, taught me how to love from a distance & how to fight for who I want. There will always be a season of disconnect, and some people are meant to be temporary - but we have to learn who is worth fighting for. Maurche is the friend that I always want to call with good news or bad news. She is truly the person I can have the deepest conversations with, without any tears, because I know she is there to hear me, not judge me or take pity on me. Maurche is the friend that I want to celebrate my graduation, wedding, baby shower, and just overall life with. And in our season of disconnect, which I've had with many people - I knew for a fact our season was meant to be temporary. Because even after a year, every time I heard good or bad news, she was the person I wanted to call.


So my overall point is, your soul connects to love. Your soul connects to intimacy, to security, to hope. And even though some experiences bring on bad characteristics, we latch onto people with good intentions. We don't connect with abusive people because of the pain, we connect with them because of the security they brought us in the beginning. Soul ties is about intimacy, not passion - we do not have to have a sexual experience with someone for our souls to truly feel and be attached to them.


Tell me about your soul ties.

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