Garden - SZA

“Need you for my sanity”

Having a private relationship has its pros and its cons.

Society makes us feel like the world needs to know about our relationship. I constantly have the urge to post my significant other, just because I want to post the cute pictures or write the cute paragraphs. I feel the urge to make things Facebook official, or to put the date in my bio – but why?

I love the world not knowing my business. I love the world not knowing who I date, what we do, if and when we argue. He’s not a secret, but he definitely isn’t anyone else’s business that’s not in my inner circle.

I had a relationship in high school where every single thing we went through was on social media. I literally could not date anyone else at my school because for over a year, everyone knew our business. Everyone knew he kept cheating on me, we would argue and cuss each other out on twitter – okay, I did most of the cussing, but still. He deserved it. Everyone would watch him date the next girl for two weeks and then come back to me. The only reason I kept taking him back was because of the embarrassment of him moving on so fast. I don’t know what was more embarrassing, everyone seeing he didn’t really care for me or me going back to someone that really didn’t care for me.

I have fallen for someone who just wants the best for me. When my friend passes away at the end of January, he was the only person there. My best friends weren’t checking on me, I think everyone was afraid to talk to me – he wasn’t. He held me while I cried, he made sure I ate, he made sure I got sleep, and he made sure I made it home safely. It is such a new feeling – wanting the best for someone who actually wants the best for you.

“Cause I love you just how you are”

If I haven’t learned anything else, I’ve learned that we have to adapt some traits other people have. Sometimes they’re not toxic, we’re just not used to them. And as they have to learn our boundaries, we need to learn theirs. Don’t lose someone because you assume they’re too sensitive, or they don’t want to communicate. Understand their feelings, find out how they want to communicate.

I found my opposite, and we found a happy middle.