Updated: Aug 15, 2020
“You’ve taken my love for granted, and you just wanna see it your way.”
Why do we settle for situationships with people that don’t deserve relationships?
I have been taught the same lesson so many times: Stop being a wife to a man that isn’t even your boyfriend.
We fall in love with unproven potential. We cling to the few good traits we see in a man and excuse the bad ones.
My generation is so obsessed with being in love that they settle for a temporary lust.
Dating has become so exhausting. Meeting other men around my age, even older, most with children – then finding out that they are the most draining men I have ever met. The ones that are supposed to be more mature, and the ones that are supposed to be an actual man. They love to shove their last heartbreak down your throat, they love to leave out the fact they’re still sleeping with the mother of their child, and they love bringing up the ONE reason why they consider themselves “men”.
"Im gonna tell ya what's on my mind."
I might be a psychology major, but I cannot be my man’s therapist. As a woman, especially a black woman, we all need to realize that. Men need to seek their own healing, and their own path in life – it is not our responsibility to redirect them. And that’s definitely easier said than done. Especially when you’ve already poured into this person and grown to love them.
Dating is now a constant battle between believing what they say or believing what they do. We could encounter a man that says he wants to be with you and that he’s ready for a relationship but puts in no effort. Or we could have a man that says he is not ready for a relationship but wants and expects everything that comes with a relationship with you.
Then we end up in these draining relationships that we should have kept situationships because now you’re just stuck trying to make something work when you’re tired after the first month.
If only men my age could offer as much as women my age do.