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Big Girl Innocence

Updated: Aug 15, 2020

For the last few years I had a goal to take modeling seriously. And every photographer I've encountered ruined my dream, so I officially made a decision to quit. I never felt like it was my purpose - but I thought it would be a really cool experience to get into, even if it never brought in a lot of money.

My very first solo photoshoot was amazing, it was inspiring. It was in 2016 & it was me announcing a new beginning. I was comfortable, confident, and content. The photographer I was working with, and worked for two other shoots, always made me feel like I was on top of the world. And then he quit photography.

I made sure I was consistent, but within my means - doing a photoshoot at least every few months. By 2018, the prices for a photoshoot had went through the roof. I paid almost $500 for my 2018 birthday photoshoot.

One of my biggest pet peeves is the lack of professionalism. Even though these photographers were more expensive - they were always late & never met their deadlines. They were unapologetic, entitled & the least thing on earth I will ever do is beg someone to take my money.

So that tied into one of the reasons I quit, but there were multiple reasons at why I truly quit.

Photographers rarely posted my pictures.

I've literally had photographers block me because they've presented me ideas that I've said no - and all of those ideas included me in lingerie or almost nude.

Plus size women do not need to be sexualized to be seen as beautiful or to be bragged about.

I am allowed to be modest, and maintain my innocent demeanor. I have never been desperate to be booked, I have never had to belong to a group that did not benefit me. I am not going to be nude in front of multiple people for not only a photoshoot I had to pay for, but one that does not bring money back to me.

So here's a picture of my last photoshoot.

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