Updated: Aug 15, 2020
My boundaries are not flexible & they do not have room for interpretation.
My special number has always been three. You have three times to cancel plans, three months to clarify what we are, and three chances to come back into my life & fix everything that has ever happened between us. I have always been a person of many chances.
After last week, my number is now one.
People know their intentions from the very first time they see you. People make time for what and who they want to make time for. And people know how to respect people what and who they want to respect.
I am not sensitive because I refuse to deal with someone that finds my boundaries optional. For my sanity, I learned to let those people go. Especially when I have found myself beneficial to them, but they have not been for me. I am tired of pouring into empty cups. All relationships (and this post is mostly about friendships) go through tough times, but they balance out – me being there for you after you were not there for me is not balance.
The number one rule that I have with everyone is not to waste my time. And yet, everyone wastes my time.
I’m a really busy person. I take 18 credit hours, I work 40+ hours a week, I’m a marketing partner of a business, and those three things alone take up almost all of my time – yet there is so much more that I have to do. I have to fit the majority of my social life into weekends, which is hard. So, then I make plans with someone, I confirm them. They run late, we push it back, they cancel AFTER the time the plans were supposed to start. MY BIGGEST PET PEEVE. If you are going to cancel plans with me, cancel before I get dressed and before I start driving.
And then, the worst part – the manipulation after the fact. People then make it seem like you told them they were obligated to spend time with you. You are not obligated to spend time with me, or see me, ever. But if we make plans, and you cancel after they were supposed to happen, I have every right to be upset. It either goes that way, or they ignore you or make you seem dramatic. And I don’t like considering myself dramatic. I’m just communicative and people that don’t know how to communicate can’t handle it.
Like one of my beautiful friends said, if you don’t talk to me the way I talk to me, you cannot have a position in my life. My new rule, if you cannot respect me the way I respect myself, your position in my life will be terminated – immediately.